I turned 25 this summer. Before my birthday, I asked different people how it felt for them when they turned 25. I got many insightful answers.
“It was filled with transitions, because now you’re really an adult.”
“You’re a quarter of a century old, it’s kind of mind-blowing.”
“It was a really rough year. But it got better.”
I have honestly felt all of these things since that lovely day in August. All of these things since I’ve graduated college have stored up into my heart and mind and have slowly unpacked.
We all know that when you unpack, especially after a big move, you’ve got a lot of sorting, decorating and organizing to do. You just can’t rush that.
This has taken me three weeks to write. Not because it’s hard, but because it’s a lot. All of my “stuff” is unpacked and scattered across the floor as I sit in the midst of it and think…”okay, now what?” I look around and everything is scattered, unorganized, and some things are outgrown….it stretches across the floor and I quickly realize this: I Can’t Adult.
Somewhere in life, we were told whether out loud or by what we’ve experienced, that we should know how to be an adult. I must have fallen asleep during that class. We feel that expectation that life should be put together now, we should know what we’re doing, where we’re going and maybe even throw a family in there. We feed that expectation by trying to fake our “knowledge of everything.” Or we shrug it off and act like we are fine. We don’t need help.
The truth is we don’t know what we’re doing. There was no class on being an adult. We are all figuring this out and it is honestly okay that we don’t know. We don’t have to know everything and have everything put together at once. It’s OK.
A close friend and I were talking the other day about this stuff. (When you open up and talk to people about these things, you find you’re not alone.) We talked about how even though we know that we don’t have to have all of the answers, we feel like we’re supposed to. Another lovely thing about talking things out with friends is that when you share, you both end up speaking to yourself as well. “It’s okay to not know,” I had said. When those words came out, it was as if Jesus tapped me on the shoulder and said “Ahem….? Could you repeat that to yourself please?”
I’m speaking to you now, and I’m also drilling this into my own heart. We all have different life transitions at different times. They can be overwhelming once they’re unpacked and distressing as you sort through them. To properly unpack, sort, organize and decorate, you have to give yourself space and time. It’s okay to admit you don’t know, it’s okay to ask questions, to ask for help. The enemy of our souls loves to isolate us and make us believe we can handle all of this on our own. That is a lie. We are not meant to be on our own, and we are not meant to live on our own. Don’t shut down and quit amidst the mess of your unpacking transition. You do have friends and family who will come and help. We also have a pretty awesome God Who never leaves us alone, even when we want to be alone. He will not abandon us. I’m so thankful He doesn’t leave us in our mess, even when we act bigger than we think we are and try to clean it up on our own.
katiedriskill 